A Great Easter

The Easter Egg Hunt (2004)

We were visiting at Grandma's house and had planned to head home to "dive" Easter eggs. That's when Uncle Bob innocently asked four-year-old Julia if she had been on any Easter egg hunts. She didn't know what an Easter egg hunt was, so Uncle Bob explained it. What a fantastic idea! Right then she wanted to hunt for eggs. Problem: we had no eggs at Grandma's. They sat, uncooked, in our refrigerator at home.
This fact did not deter Julia in any way. She was on a mission to find eggs: any eggs, any where. RIGHT NOW!
Logically, I thought we could clear this up with a simple explanation. . . .

In order to have an EFFECTIVE Easter egg hunt, a person
(or a bunny) needs to hide eggs first.

We waited until we were ready to leave Grandma's house and were further delayed on the way home, stopping to pick up job applications for 18-year-old, big sister, Kerry. "Grown ups" can be so slow when there are important things to do!
Utterly exhausted, Julia napped in the car and after at least 20 minutes we finally arrived home.
Kerry and I strolled in the house, but Julia leaped out of the car to search for eggs. Surely she'd find a few if she looked all over the yard. She searched the front and then the back yards.
Wait a minute!!!! After a good 10 to 15 minutes of searching, she found NO eggs. She marched inside to complain.
"Look, Julia, see them in the refrigerator?" I said opening the door to peek at the cardboard boxes full of white eggs. "We just need to 'dive' them and then we can have a nice Easter egg hunt, OK?"

It sure took a long time. ALMOST FOREVER! We waited for the big, shiny pots of eggs to boil. We spread newspaper across the table. We filled up our coffee mugs with smelly stuff, dye and water. We watched as the dye colored the eggs: blue, red, green, and yellow, orange, purple. Yah, I guess they're pretty, but when can we HUNT for them?
Luckily, after forever, Grandma came to the rescue. She hid a couple dozen brightly colored eggs on the back deck.
Julia was delighted! Wow, this was fun! And while she was finally hunting for eggs, Kerry stole some "already found" eggs and hid them in the front yard. Grandma and Kerry had a great system going, stealing and "rehiding" eggs over and over and over again. Julia never tired of it.
We're not even sure if she caught on to the fact that she was finding the same eggs over and over again. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was this Easter egg hunt was wonderful! Finding each egg produced excitement; from the first one found to the 150th . (You might think that was an exaggeration. It's not!) What a magical Easter memory!
--

Brat, stubborn, two-year-old's rules but still adorable

Amusing stories about a little brat named Danielle

We moved from KY back to Pittsburgh in December, 1996 when my niece Danielle was not quite two years old. My daughter Kerry was 11 and at first, she was delighted to have her little cousin stay at our house. But it didn’t take her long to discover that little ones can be a handful. She told me one day, in all seriousness, that she was NOT ready to have a baby. I was stunned. I was sure that 11 or12 was a great age to start a family.

Danielle often stayed with us for five or six days in a row and right from the start she decided that she loved Kerry, but she did NOT like me. She wanted us to follow her little two-year-old rules. Kerry should do everything for her, and I wasn’t supposed to touch her or go near her. I wanted to put her shoes on and I got “NO! Kerry do it.”Whatever it was, putting her coat on, changing her diaper, giving her a bath, or helping her get dressed, Danielle insisted, “Kerry do it.” Kerry quickly became overwhelmed and I grew quite frustrated. It wasn’t all that much fun .
One time Danielle was all bundled up and in her carseat in the van. She could barely move and I sat down next to her.
For no apparent reason she squinted her eyes and said in her little evil voice, “I don’t WANT you to sit next to me and I don’t NEED you to sit next to me.”
Well, of course I didn’t move. That’s when she threatened me.
“If you sit next to me, I’m going to take all the clips out of my hair!”
OHHH NOOOOO!!! Not the clips removal punishment!!!! Sure enough she pulled every single clip out of her hair. I sat there chuckling to myself. It was a HARSH PUNISHMENT indeed. Then she told me, "I won't play with you. I want to play by myself and with Justin." (Justin is her brother who's five years older than she.)

Another time I took her to the library and read many books to her. We stayed nearly two hours and then I took her to McDonald’s and bought her a Happy Meal. After our meal, she played in the playland. We stayed longer than anybody. Many children would come and go, but I let Danielle play for an eternity. Eventually, it was time to go, and I gave her the five minute warning, then a three minute, then one minute warning.“Ok it’s time to go home,” I said, but she ran the other way. “Do you want to come with me or do I have to pick you up?” She wasn’t about to leave willingly, so I picked her up and carried her to the car and buckled her in her carseat. That’s when she yelled, “I’m going to tell Grandma what you did.”
“Oh,” I said calmly.

“ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HER THAT I READ YOU LOTS OF BOOKS AND TOOK YOU TO MCDONALD’S AND BOUGHT YOU A HAPPY MEAL, AND THEN LET YOU PLAY AND PLAY IN THE PLAYLAND FOR A LONG TIME?

”NO!!!!," she said immediately. "I'M GOING TO TELL GRANDMA WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!!!”

This ought be good. We drove home in silence. I had no idea what to expect. What would this little brat say?
True to her word, as soon as we got to the house, Danielle darted off to find Grandma, running with her little pigeon-toed, wobbly steps. I followed her with great curiosity.
“Grandma! Amy HIT ME AND STUFF!!!!”
What a little brat! What a little LIAR!!!!!!!

Mom, are you a criminal?

Kerry, Danielle, Julia and I saw Confessions of a Shopaholic at the Waterfront Theater a couple days ago. We thought we'd get in for the day rate ($5.00 a person) since it was, in fact, still the daytime according to most intelligent people. But at this theater, we were told the "evening rates" start at 4:00.

There is nobody else in the whole world who would claim that "evening" begins at 4:00.

AM I RIGHT? But at this movie theater, our show started well into the evening, at 4:20. We owed $10 for adults (K and me) and $5.00 for children (D & J). So POOF, there went $30.00.
Then I saw the small bags for popcorn. The "small" and the "medium" were pretty tiny, so I opted for the "large" for a whopping $6.75. I've never paid almost $7 for popcorn. And Kerry bought cheese fries for God knows how much.
Long story short, the movie had some funny parts, but come on, it didn't do much for me. But I knew what DID do something for me- and that was Madea. I had just been introduced to Madea last week when I watched it at Amy and Mike Kelly's house. I knew Kerry and Danielle (and I thought Julia too) would LOVE it. I saw the first movie, and now "Madea goes to Jail" was in the theaters. Just looking at "her" mugshot started me laughing. So after the so-so Shopaholic movie (and I'm being generous with the so-so), I really wanted to see the Madea movie. We came out of the theater, and right there was a lit up sign, Madea goes to Jail, 6:15, beckoning me, pulling me, calling to me ---Come on, see THIS movie. I didn't hesitate. I had whispered to Kerry that we should see this movie and so she followed me, followed by Danielle and then Julia. But Julia didn't get it. And it was here that I learned a lesson. Nine-year-olds don't really know how to sneak. They would make very poor criminals. So we're hurrying into the show when Julia loudly asks, "IS THIS A CRIME?" "ARE WE COMMITTING A CRIME?" "IS THIS A CRIME?" "ARE WE COMMITTING A CRIME?" And she kept it up! LOUDLY! Needless to say, this attracted the attention of some patrons as well as some employees. So an employee followed us straight into the movie.
SO WHAT? This really didn't bother me at all. I had paid an exorbitant amount of money to get into the theater, so I really don't view this as a "crime" at all. But Julia and Kerry, well that's a different story.
I stayed in the theater, but Kerry got scared and left, followed by her "little ducklings" D and J. And would you believe that Kerry actually PAID an additional $20 for all three of them to see the movie! Kerry and I completely disagree on this matter.