A lousy speeding ticket

As I was driving to a gymnastics meet in Pottsville, PA, a 4 1/2 hour ride, Grandma and Julia passed the time playing games. They played the alphabet game, finding an "a" then a "b" and so on.

They played the "A" my name is Annabelle and my husband's name is Andrew. . . game. And they played ,"the point game," more accurately "the pointless game." They received a point for being the first to spot a clothesline, an animal, a flag, an out-of-state license plate Each find was worth one point, except for police cars, which were worth 10 points. It was a pretty nice trip. We stayed with my cousin Ed and his wife Marcia for two nights.

The gymnastics meet was fun, but then it was time to go home. It was an exhausting trip and I had 4 1/2 hours of driving ahead of me. Julia fell asleep right away and my mother was dosing in the front seat. I had to stay awake and alert.

After two or three hours the road just seemed to be never-ending and unconsciously I drove faster and faster, until I passed a state trooper hiding on the right hand side.

I was caught in his trap and I knew it. So I pulled over to the side of the road, the flashing lights right behind me. This was my first ticket in over 15 years. Darn it!

My mother is fairly deaf. She misses a lot of things that are said. But did she miss the policeman telling me the speed at which I was traveling? Oh no. She heard that loud and clear.

Anyway, the trooper took his time writing the ticket. I commented to Grandma that I was glad that Julia was sleeping through this. But that was short-lived. She awoke to find a policeman right at the window handing me the ticket.

And what did Julia say but, "On the positive side of things, I get 10 points for the police car."

Julia's half birthday

"Mommy, Kerry, today is my half birthday," Julia shouted to us from downstairs, proudly announcing that she is 9 1/2. I looked at the calendar and sure enough, Julia had written that it was her half birthday on April 22. On the 21st, she had even written "Julia's half birthday eve."
She wanted a cake. "Julia, people don't get cakes for their half birthdays."

"Well, then I want a half a cake." Hmmmmmm. She is an interesting child, don't you think?

Keriann goes to first grade

How exciting! Keriann was all ready to start first grade. All of these are completely true.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL (Tues.) - Keriann is very excited about starting school. She's especially happy to ride the school bus with her friend Bryna. Bryna was to come get Keriann at 7:55 a.m. Keriann arose before I did and was dressed and ready to go at 6:45. That meant she had one hour and ten minutes to ask repeatedly when it was time to go.
Keriann took a nutritious snack (carrots) and $1.25 for lunch. She came home with $1.25 and a note saying she owes $1.25. She told me, "It was too late to pay." She wanted to bring a packed lunch the next day because she doesn't know when to pay.

2nd day (Wed.) - Keriann brought a cut up apple for a snack. I gave her the $1.25 for Tuesday's lunch, $1.25 for today's lunch plus 35 cents for icecream. When I asked if she enjoyed her icecream, she told me she didn't have enough money for icecream. Then she pulled out another note saying she owed 65 cents for today's lunch. Now I was confused.

3rd day (Thurs.) -Keriann brought a baggie of carrots for a snack. I wrote the teacher a note explaining the amounts of money I sent yesterday. I asked, "Did Keriann lose some of it?" I taped the note to her folder, which goes back and forth between the teacher and me every day. All I sent was the $1.25 for today's lunch.
The teacher never got the note. Keriann came home with another note saying she owes 65 cents.

4th day (Fri.) - I sent $1.25 for today's lunch, 65 cents for Wed.'s lunch, a cut-up apple for a snack and this time I wrote directly on the folder instructing Keriann several times to "show this to Miss Davis." I told Miss Davis, "Keriann lost $1.00 on Wed."
Finally, success. Miss Davis actually received my note, and yes, she did find a dollar that no one claimed. The money came home with Keriann that day. Four baggies full of decayed snacks came home on Friday too.

Yes, this promises to be a GREAT year!!!

Santa's Test

I knew the Santa questions were coming, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be for another year or two. Did Santa really fly from house to house leaving presents for obedient children?

Eight-year-old Julia made a lot of messes in our house and she didn’t always clean up. Maybe Santa put her on the naughty list. I mean, she made A LOT of messes, enormous ones. Maybe Santa would just skip our house this year.

Was Santa real? Some of the kids at school said he doesn’t even exist. What does THAT mean? Is Mommy the real Santa?

“This whole Santa thing is like realistic fiction,” she told me. HMMMMMM. That was a good sign, I thought. Surely that comment means she's paying attention at school, because I know she didn't pick up the "realistic fiction" stuff from ME. I'm sure I never uttered those words in my life.

But I wondered what could possibly be "realistic" about the flying reindeer, one with a nose that glows, a portly man who goes down chimneys and a flight around the world in one night. She wanted to see this as realistic. Sure, realistic.

“I’m going to be checking handwriting,” she told me. As a mother, I felt the pull of my job getting more difficult. I couldn’t make mistakes or I would step on Julia’s childhood. Squash. I didn’t want that to happen.

So I did what any loving, caring mother would do. I lied a little, I tricked her, and I invaded her privacy. I hope she appreciates it!

“I’m going to test Santa,” she confided in me. “I told him three things I want that I’m not telling anybody else.”

“What did you ask for?” I asked.

“Mom, I told you. They’re secrets. I’m not telling you.”

How could I get away with this? I felt stuck all day and then suddenly, an epiphany, and I came up with a plan.

I convinced Julia that because Santa is old like me, he needs to have things written down to remember them. With all those children to keep track of, he needed lists. Immediately, she jumped out of her chair away from the dinner table to get a pen and paper. She wrote him a letter and left it folded up on the dining room table.

A few minutes later, while Julia was doing handstands in the living room, I peeked at the letter. Hurry up! My stomach tightened as I snuck around doing the dirty work. I don’t think I’d make a very good criminal. I had reached my limit. That’s about as “crooked” as I could possibly get. Any more criminal acts and I’m sure I’d keel over with a heart attack.

Later on, I told her she should seal the letter in an envelope and write “Santa Claus, North Pole” on it. She did and then we drove it to the special North Pole mailbox in front of the library.

She questioned me. Would her letter need a stamp? No Mam. Letters that say, “Santa Claus” go directly northward and are delivered to the front door of Santa’s toy shop, I told her.
Julia secretly had asked Santa for two specific Bailey School Kids books. One was called, “The Bride of Frankenstein Doesn’t Bake Cookies” and I forget now what the other was, but I drove to Borders the next day, on Christmas Eve and OH NO!

Some tall, skinny employee kid who looked like he was about 14 told me those books are from an older series, so Borders didn’t carry all of them. There were other Bailey School Kids books, but not the ones she told Santa she wanted.

What? Santa would fail his test! Did this Border’s kid understand we had a Santa crisis on our hands? He didn’t even seem to care!!!!

I bought a couple of Bailey School Kids books, but they weren’t the right ones. Then I remembered, Julia also asked for a gift card to Toys R Us. I stopped on the way home to purchase a $10 gift card. It’s a good thing I did.

On Christmas morning, the first thing she pulled out when her little hand reached into her stocking was the gift card. Excitedly, she opened it up. “HOW DID HE KNOW?” she asked.
It was one of those holiday moments I will always remember. Santa passed his test that year. Way to go Santa!!!