My life with a little, tiny, loud person (originally written in June, 2001)

Life with a toddler is nothing short of INSANE!

My goal in the grocery store is to be in and out in less than ten minutes. Julia hates sitting in the cart. Sure, on a GOOD day, I get her to sit there for nearly three full minutes by giving her some crackers. Forget the seat belt or I won't even get those three glorious, carefree minutes. After that, she'll start to stand up and I end up carrying her on my hip and pushing the cart with my other hand, cracker crumbs dropping from her hand in a trail like the one made by Hansel and Gretel.

The sitting on my hip arrangement suits Julia for the next two or three minutes until she starts wriggling and squirming and twisting and saying loudly "down" over and over and over and over again. I can try to put her back in the cart again, but usually that's met with an entire body tantrum, complete with kicking, screaming, thrashing, crying, and more thrashing. So instead of risking a tantrum, I put her down. "Stay with Mommy," I say, maybe just to amuse myself. You can imagine how much thought I give to comparing prices as she toddles quickly away.

Does this cantaloupe look edible? Sure. OK, I'll take six. There's absolutely no logical thinking that four or five of them will go bad before we eat them. I'm thinking more along the lines of if I buy enough now, I won't have to go grocery shopping again until Julia is seven years old.

OK Amy, use LOGICAL THINLKING. If I'm not coming back for five years, I should get a lot more than six. I better buy 15 cantaloupes and maybe 20 watermelons. And quickly! Throw them in the cart. Let's just get out of this store already! I certainly don't want a repeat of last month's broken pickle jar incident! And so we pay and leave, having not even gotten past the produce, Aisle One. Forget the milk in Aisle Eight. I’ll just squeeze some cantaloupe juice or watermelon juice instead.

Our dinner conversations have become interesting. I categorize and list the injuries Julia sustained that day. She fell off a kitchen chair. Later she banged her head on the cupboard. Those were the morning injuries. She fell when running, scraping a knee and a hand, and later shut her fingers in a drawer. Those were the afternoon injuries.

Then there's a whole separate category I call the tantrum injuries, which can occur at any time of the day or night. I've noticed she doesn't really care to hear the word, "no." So if she is in some life-or-death situation like playing with the stove or running into the street, and I use that terrible n-word, she throws herself down on the ground banging her head and she starts kicking whatever happens to be in the way so she hurts her foot. Tantrum injuries.

Then she is FURIOUS and of course it's ALL MY FAULT. I mean she is SOOOOOO FURIOUS. Many times it's best to look away and pretend you saw nothing, you know if there's not blood gushing out of any part of her body.

I treasure my privacy, those peaceful moments when I am all by myself. I have to be strategic about planning it. "Julia, look what Mommy has." I place her baby doll in the little stroller. This captures her attention. She toddles over to me with a huge smile and I help her push the stroller. Then she takes over. She pushes the stroller while I gently say, "I'll be right back. Push the baby in the stroller." Then I quickly slip into the bathroom. She excitedly obeys and pushes the toy for at least an entire minute. And usually that's when the realization sets in.

She has been completely abandoned! And the screaming starts, typically accompanied by kicking and pounding on the door. "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Meanwhile, I'm taking my relaxing three and a half minute shower. I mean that's the TOTAL time. I brush my teeth, get into the shower, soap up and shampoo, rinse, dry off, throw on some clothes and run a comb through my hair. But I am lucky to feel partially clean and refreshed. A friend of mine who also has a toddler hasn't taken a shower in three days. I wonder why.

Now it's getting time for Julia's "nappy." I don't HAVE to revolve my activities around her naps, but the consequence of NOT doing so is extremely painful for anyone within a mile radius. If I don't allow her to take a good two-hour nap in a comfortable bed, everyone's lives become even more unbearable than they already were. Trust me on that.

And if I drive a short distance and Julia falls asleep in the car for five or ten minutes, that's BAD! Horrendous mistake! Instead of the peaceful two-hour nappy plan, there is no way that child will fall asleep again until 10 or 11:00. LOOK OUT WORLD, there's a sleep-deprived toddler on the loose. (Why is it that well-rested child go to sleep relatively easily, but sleep-deprived children who NEED SLEEP can't fall asleep without putting up one heck of a fight? What a cruel trick of nature!)

Toddlers are great fun and I am blessed to have one!

If you act NOW

My nine-year-old Julia is quite the handful, to say the least. She has always been a tough one, starting back when she was in the womb. Some days I wonder how we will both survive. Just the thought of this insurmountable task makes me feel so overwhelmed.

So one fine night we had a HUGE fight/disagreement/behavior problem/issue. I might expect this from an adolescent, but let me remind you that she is only NINE.

That's when I decided to put her up for adoption on Facebook. Maybe someone else would have more success raising her. Maybe Julia wouldn't argue so much with another person in charge. After all, she is an angel at school.

You might think I am happy that she's so well-behaved at school, but why does she turn into a devil with horns as soon as she steps off the bus and runs through the door? Does this mean I completely inept as a mother?

After pondering this for a while, I decided that YES, I am FAILING MISERABLY at my job, so I need to find a replacement mom ASAP who might have better luck.

When I first offered Julia up for adoption, I got no response. But then some HOPE. One of Kerry's best friends, Melanie McBroom from Kentucky, asked me, "How is she with cleaning?"

I had to tell the TRUTH because what if Melanie adopted her thinking she is nice and neat, but Julia turned out to be a complete slob? Then Melanie would be stuck finding another adoptive parent and she probably wouldn't come visit us any more. So that's no good.

So in response to "how is she with cleaning?" I had to say, "She has been known to clean when threatened." Yeah, that's pretty true.

Well, that was all the interest that Melanie showed in the adoption. That's when I made the decision to offer a big screen TV as a gift IF YOU ACT NOW.

But no one "ACTED NOW" like people do with informercials. Maybe everyone already has a big screen TV? I don't know. So I offered a big microwave oven too. This microwave is so powerful that it actually cuts cooking time in half!

Still no one acted NOW and now now is later, not now anymore. I don't understand. I guess these free gifts weren't really the latest in technology. Maybe I should have offered a 2009 SUV? I don't know.

Finally, Lisa Kendig Black, my cousin from San Diego, offered a trade. She would take Julia if I took her son Alex. Alex is five years old. He's very cute and very smart. He has red hair and freckles and he is extremely articulate and full of spunk.

While I know that I would enjoy Alex, Lisa did NOT offer any free gifts!
I wanted a free computer with a color printer, a stereo, a digital camera...... anything!!! But no, Lisa offered nothing. Well, you know, nothing except her son.

So after thinking about it a while, I decided not to take Alex and to keep Julia a little while longer. Who knows. Maybe some miracles will happen, lots and lots of miracles, and Julia will turn into a civilized person. Yeah, lots and lots of miracles.

Kerry is glad to keep her little sister. She's actually the one who officially took her down from adoption. (I don't know how to say that. I "put her up for adoption." So I am assuming it would be accurate to say that Kerry "took her down from adoption.")

Yeah, apparently Julia helped Kerry with her resumes and envelopes and it was a lot of work, so she decided to keep her for now. OK, I guess I'll keep her

A lousy speeding ticket

As I was driving to a gymnastics meet in Pottsville, PA, a 4 1/2 hour ride, Grandma and Julia passed the time playing games. They played the alphabet game, finding an "a" then a "b" and so on.

They played the "A" my name is Annabelle and my husband's name is Andrew. . . game. And they played ,"the point game," more accurately "the pointless game." They received a point for being the first to spot a clothesline, an animal, a flag, an out-of-state license plate Each find was worth one point, except for police cars, which were worth 10 points. It was a pretty nice trip. We stayed with my cousin Ed and his wife Marcia for two nights.

The gymnastics meet was fun, but then it was time to go home. It was an exhausting trip and I had 4 1/2 hours of driving ahead of me. Julia fell asleep right away and my mother was dosing in the front seat. I had to stay awake and alert.

After two or three hours the road just seemed to be never-ending and unconsciously I drove faster and faster, until I passed a state trooper hiding on the right hand side.

I was caught in his trap and I knew it. So I pulled over to the side of the road, the flashing lights right behind me. This was my first ticket in over 15 years. Darn it!

My mother is fairly deaf. She misses a lot of things that are said. But did she miss the policeman telling me the speed at which I was traveling? Oh no. She heard that loud and clear.

Anyway, the trooper took his time writing the ticket. I commented to Grandma that I was glad that Julia was sleeping through this. But that was short-lived. She awoke to find a policeman right at the window handing me the ticket.

And what did Julia say but, "On the positive side of things, I get 10 points for the police car."

Julia's half birthday

"Mommy, Kerry, today is my half birthday," Julia shouted to us from downstairs, proudly announcing that she is 9 1/2. I looked at the calendar and sure enough, Julia had written that it was her half birthday on April 22. On the 21st, she had even written "Julia's half birthday eve."
She wanted a cake. "Julia, people don't get cakes for their half birthdays."

"Well, then I want a half a cake." Hmmmmmm. She is an interesting child, don't you think?

Keriann goes to first grade

How exciting! Keriann was all ready to start first grade. All of these are completely true.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL (Tues.) - Keriann is very excited about starting school. She's especially happy to ride the school bus with her friend Bryna. Bryna was to come get Keriann at 7:55 a.m. Keriann arose before I did and was dressed and ready to go at 6:45. That meant she had one hour and ten minutes to ask repeatedly when it was time to go.
Keriann took a nutritious snack (carrots) and $1.25 for lunch. She came home with $1.25 and a note saying she owes $1.25. She told me, "It was too late to pay." She wanted to bring a packed lunch the next day because she doesn't know when to pay.

2nd day (Wed.) - Keriann brought a cut up apple for a snack. I gave her the $1.25 for Tuesday's lunch, $1.25 for today's lunch plus 35 cents for icecream. When I asked if she enjoyed her icecream, she told me she didn't have enough money for icecream. Then she pulled out another note saying she owed 65 cents for today's lunch. Now I was confused.

3rd day (Thurs.) -Keriann brought a baggie of carrots for a snack. I wrote the teacher a note explaining the amounts of money I sent yesterday. I asked, "Did Keriann lose some of it?" I taped the note to her folder, which goes back and forth between the teacher and me every day. All I sent was the $1.25 for today's lunch.
The teacher never got the note. Keriann came home with another note saying she owes 65 cents.

4th day (Fri.) - I sent $1.25 for today's lunch, 65 cents for Wed.'s lunch, a cut-up apple for a snack and this time I wrote directly on the folder instructing Keriann several times to "show this to Miss Davis." I told Miss Davis, "Keriann lost $1.00 on Wed."
Finally, success. Miss Davis actually received my note, and yes, she did find a dollar that no one claimed. The money came home with Keriann that day. Four baggies full of decayed snacks came home on Friday too.

Yes, this promises to be a GREAT year!!!

Santa's Test

I knew the Santa questions were coming, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be for another year or two. Did Santa really fly from house to house leaving presents for obedient children?

Eight-year-old Julia made a lot of messes in our house and she didn’t always clean up. Maybe Santa put her on the naughty list. I mean, she made A LOT of messes, enormous ones. Maybe Santa would just skip our house this year.

Was Santa real? Some of the kids at school said he doesn’t even exist. What does THAT mean? Is Mommy the real Santa?

“This whole Santa thing is like realistic fiction,” she told me. HMMMMMM. That was a good sign, I thought. Surely that comment means she's paying attention at school, because I know she didn't pick up the "realistic fiction" stuff from ME. I'm sure I never uttered those words in my life.

But I wondered what could possibly be "realistic" about the flying reindeer, one with a nose that glows, a portly man who goes down chimneys and a flight around the world in one night. She wanted to see this as realistic. Sure, realistic.

“I’m going to be checking handwriting,” she told me. As a mother, I felt the pull of my job getting more difficult. I couldn’t make mistakes or I would step on Julia’s childhood. Squash. I didn’t want that to happen.

So I did what any loving, caring mother would do. I lied a little, I tricked her, and I invaded her privacy. I hope she appreciates it!

“I’m going to test Santa,” she confided in me. “I told him three things I want that I’m not telling anybody else.”

“What did you ask for?” I asked.

“Mom, I told you. They’re secrets. I’m not telling you.”

How could I get away with this? I felt stuck all day and then suddenly, an epiphany, and I came up with a plan.

I convinced Julia that because Santa is old like me, he needs to have things written down to remember them. With all those children to keep track of, he needed lists. Immediately, she jumped out of her chair away from the dinner table to get a pen and paper. She wrote him a letter and left it folded up on the dining room table.

A few minutes later, while Julia was doing handstands in the living room, I peeked at the letter. Hurry up! My stomach tightened as I snuck around doing the dirty work. I don’t think I’d make a very good criminal. I had reached my limit. That’s about as “crooked” as I could possibly get. Any more criminal acts and I’m sure I’d keel over with a heart attack.

Later on, I told her she should seal the letter in an envelope and write “Santa Claus, North Pole” on it. She did and then we drove it to the special North Pole mailbox in front of the library.

She questioned me. Would her letter need a stamp? No Mam. Letters that say, “Santa Claus” go directly northward and are delivered to the front door of Santa’s toy shop, I told her.
Julia secretly had asked Santa for two specific Bailey School Kids books. One was called, “The Bride of Frankenstein Doesn’t Bake Cookies” and I forget now what the other was, but I drove to Borders the next day, on Christmas Eve and OH NO!

Some tall, skinny employee kid who looked like he was about 14 told me those books are from an older series, so Borders didn’t carry all of them. There were other Bailey School Kids books, but not the ones she told Santa she wanted.

What? Santa would fail his test! Did this Border’s kid understand we had a Santa crisis on our hands? He didn’t even seem to care!!!!

I bought a couple of Bailey School Kids books, but they weren’t the right ones. Then I remembered, Julia also asked for a gift card to Toys R Us. I stopped on the way home to purchase a $10 gift card. It’s a good thing I did.

On Christmas morning, the first thing she pulled out when her little hand reached into her stocking was the gift card. Excitedly, she opened it up. “HOW DID HE KNOW?” she asked.
It was one of those holiday moments I will always remember. Santa passed his test that year. Way to go Santa!!!

A Great Easter

The Easter Egg Hunt (2004)

We were visiting at Grandma's house and had planned to head home to "dive" Easter eggs. That's when Uncle Bob innocently asked four-year-old Julia if she had been on any Easter egg hunts. She didn't know what an Easter egg hunt was, so Uncle Bob explained it. What a fantastic idea! Right then she wanted to hunt for eggs. Problem: we had no eggs at Grandma's. They sat, uncooked, in our refrigerator at home.
This fact did not deter Julia in any way. She was on a mission to find eggs: any eggs, any where. RIGHT NOW!
Logically, I thought we could clear this up with a simple explanation. . . .

In order to have an EFFECTIVE Easter egg hunt, a person
(or a bunny) needs to hide eggs first.

We waited until we were ready to leave Grandma's house and were further delayed on the way home, stopping to pick up job applications for 18-year-old, big sister, Kerry. "Grown ups" can be so slow when there are important things to do!
Utterly exhausted, Julia napped in the car and after at least 20 minutes we finally arrived home.
Kerry and I strolled in the house, but Julia leaped out of the car to search for eggs. Surely she'd find a few if she looked all over the yard. She searched the front and then the back yards.
Wait a minute!!!! After a good 10 to 15 minutes of searching, she found NO eggs. She marched inside to complain.
"Look, Julia, see them in the refrigerator?" I said opening the door to peek at the cardboard boxes full of white eggs. "We just need to 'dive' them and then we can have a nice Easter egg hunt, OK?"

It sure took a long time. ALMOST FOREVER! We waited for the big, shiny pots of eggs to boil. We spread newspaper across the table. We filled up our coffee mugs with smelly stuff, dye and water. We watched as the dye colored the eggs: blue, red, green, and yellow, orange, purple. Yah, I guess they're pretty, but when can we HUNT for them?
Luckily, after forever, Grandma came to the rescue. She hid a couple dozen brightly colored eggs on the back deck.
Julia was delighted! Wow, this was fun! And while she was finally hunting for eggs, Kerry stole some "already found" eggs and hid them in the front yard. Grandma and Kerry had a great system going, stealing and "rehiding" eggs over and over and over again. Julia never tired of it.
We're not even sure if she caught on to the fact that she was finding the same eggs over and over again. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was this Easter egg hunt was wonderful! Finding each egg produced excitement; from the first one found to the 150th . (You might think that was an exaggeration. It's not!) What a magical Easter memory!
--

Brat, stubborn, two-year-old's rules but still adorable

Amusing stories about a little brat named Danielle

We moved from KY back to Pittsburgh in December, 1996 when my niece Danielle was not quite two years old. My daughter Kerry was 11 and at first, she was delighted to have her little cousin stay at our house. But it didn’t take her long to discover that little ones can be a handful. She told me one day, in all seriousness, that she was NOT ready to have a baby. I was stunned. I was sure that 11 or12 was a great age to start a family.

Danielle often stayed with us for five or six days in a row and right from the start she decided that she loved Kerry, but she did NOT like me. She wanted us to follow her little two-year-old rules. Kerry should do everything for her, and I wasn’t supposed to touch her or go near her. I wanted to put her shoes on and I got “NO! Kerry do it.”Whatever it was, putting her coat on, changing her diaper, giving her a bath, or helping her get dressed, Danielle insisted, “Kerry do it.” Kerry quickly became overwhelmed and I grew quite frustrated. It wasn’t all that much fun .
One time Danielle was all bundled up and in her carseat in the van. She could barely move and I sat down next to her.
For no apparent reason she squinted her eyes and said in her little evil voice, “I don’t WANT you to sit next to me and I don’t NEED you to sit next to me.”
Well, of course I didn’t move. That’s when she threatened me.
“If you sit next to me, I’m going to take all the clips out of my hair!”
OHHH NOOOOO!!! Not the clips removal punishment!!!! Sure enough she pulled every single clip out of her hair. I sat there chuckling to myself. It was a HARSH PUNISHMENT indeed. Then she told me, "I won't play with you. I want to play by myself and with Justin." (Justin is her brother who's five years older than she.)

Another time I took her to the library and read many books to her. We stayed nearly two hours and then I took her to McDonald’s and bought her a Happy Meal. After our meal, she played in the playland. We stayed longer than anybody. Many children would come and go, but I let Danielle play for an eternity. Eventually, it was time to go, and I gave her the five minute warning, then a three minute, then one minute warning.“Ok it’s time to go home,” I said, but she ran the other way. “Do you want to come with me or do I have to pick you up?” She wasn’t about to leave willingly, so I picked her up and carried her to the car and buckled her in her carseat. That’s when she yelled, “I’m going to tell Grandma what you did.”
“Oh,” I said calmly.

“ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HER THAT I READ YOU LOTS OF BOOKS AND TOOK YOU TO MCDONALD’S AND BOUGHT YOU A HAPPY MEAL, AND THEN LET YOU PLAY AND PLAY IN THE PLAYLAND FOR A LONG TIME?

”NO!!!!," she said immediately. "I'M GOING TO TELL GRANDMA WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!!!”

This ought be good. We drove home in silence. I had no idea what to expect. What would this little brat say?
True to her word, as soon as we got to the house, Danielle darted off to find Grandma, running with her little pigeon-toed, wobbly steps. I followed her with great curiosity.
“Grandma! Amy HIT ME AND STUFF!!!!”
What a little brat! What a little LIAR!!!!!!!

Mom, are you a criminal?

Kerry, Danielle, Julia and I saw Confessions of a Shopaholic at the Waterfront Theater a couple days ago. We thought we'd get in for the day rate ($5.00 a person) since it was, in fact, still the daytime according to most intelligent people. But at this theater, we were told the "evening rates" start at 4:00.

There is nobody else in the whole world who would claim that "evening" begins at 4:00.

AM I RIGHT? But at this movie theater, our show started well into the evening, at 4:20. We owed $10 for adults (K and me) and $5.00 for children (D & J). So POOF, there went $30.00.
Then I saw the small bags for popcorn. The "small" and the "medium" were pretty tiny, so I opted for the "large" for a whopping $6.75. I've never paid almost $7 for popcorn. And Kerry bought cheese fries for God knows how much.
Long story short, the movie had some funny parts, but come on, it didn't do much for me. But I knew what DID do something for me- and that was Madea. I had just been introduced to Madea last week when I watched it at Amy and Mike Kelly's house. I knew Kerry and Danielle (and I thought Julia too) would LOVE it. I saw the first movie, and now "Madea goes to Jail" was in the theaters. Just looking at "her" mugshot started me laughing. So after the so-so Shopaholic movie (and I'm being generous with the so-so), I really wanted to see the Madea movie. We came out of the theater, and right there was a lit up sign, Madea goes to Jail, 6:15, beckoning me, pulling me, calling to me ---Come on, see THIS movie. I didn't hesitate. I had whispered to Kerry that we should see this movie and so she followed me, followed by Danielle and then Julia. But Julia didn't get it. And it was here that I learned a lesson. Nine-year-olds don't really know how to sneak. They would make very poor criminals. So we're hurrying into the show when Julia loudly asks, "IS THIS A CRIME?" "ARE WE COMMITTING A CRIME?" "IS THIS A CRIME?" "ARE WE COMMITTING A CRIME?" And she kept it up! LOUDLY! Needless to say, this attracted the attention of some patrons as well as some employees. So an employee followed us straight into the movie.
SO WHAT? This really didn't bother me at all. I had paid an exorbitant amount of money to get into the theater, so I really don't view this as a "crime" at all. But Julia and Kerry, well that's a different story.
I stayed in the theater, but Kerry got scared and left, followed by her "little ducklings" D and J. And would you believe that Kerry actually PAID an additional $20 for all three of them to see the movie! Kerry and I completely disagree on this matter.

Little Miss Attitude

What's up with this?

Notice Destyni's shirt that says, "Treat me like a PRINCESS."

I would love to hear people's comments on this picture of Destyni on the right.. I can only say "ATTITUDE!" Anyway, we love Destyni, who is turning five on Feb. 20. Destyni Miller lived with us one summer when she was two. She's growing up too fast!

Happy Birthday Princess Destyni!!!

Happy Birthday Danielle, Miracle Girl

Although Danielle and I had a ROUGH START TOGETHER, which I will write about later in my blog for those of you who didn't read it, my miracle girl is turning 14 years old! Happy Birthday to my favorite niece, Danielle Marie Geertz (right) shown with my favorite older daughter, Kerry. Danielle is fun-loving with a great sense of humor, kind-hearted and truly an amazing teenager who is growing up to be such a beautiful young lady. She is a compulsive but wonderful dancer who tap dances and does ballet, hip hop and jazz all over the place. Danielle is a truly great friend to both of my girls. I marvel at all three of them and their relationships to each other when there are pretty big age differences. Danielle teaches Julia many things about dancing and about life. We all adore "Big D," as she sometimes is called. We better like her because she's here very often, like every weekend, almost all summer and many times when she doesn't have school. Good thing she's easy to love!!!

,

gotta love Peaches

Let's not forget the name of the blog is "gotta love Peaches." So here she is with Julia at Kingston Dam in September.

Peaches is three years old and she keeps us highly entertained. She is SO MUCH FUN!!!! gotta love her!!!! She accompanies me to Julia's gymnastics practices. She sits on the metal folding chairs for three solid hours. The little gymnasts love her and she is very well-behaved. The owner of the gym loves her and always pets her. One day he called all the older upper-level gymnasts over to Peaches who was just sitting still on her chair. "Do you see Peaches? This is how you're supposed to act."

Freckers and Dimplies

Julia has plenty of smiles for her first day of school. She goes to a Christian school called "Greater Works." There are only eight children in her class. She likes school and is in 3rd grade.

The Laundry

When Keriann was about five years old, I neatly folded her clean laundry and put the basket on her bed. "Put these clothes away, Keriann, OK?" Then I left for a while. When I returned the empty basket was on her bed and I praised the work she had done. "Great job, Keriann, for putting the clothes away.
She looked at me with a mild case of guilt and said,"I want to make a sign that says, 'Don't look in the closet.'"
A little bit dumb????????"

Beautiful Girls

This picture of Kerry and Julia Kriss was taken at Devin and Lacy's wedding in North Park, Sept. 29, 2007.

Knock first!

The other day Julia was instructed to turn off the TV and do her chore. But when I came into my own room, there she sat, her eyes glued to the TV, probably watching Hanna Montana or Zack and Cody. And what was I greeted with but, "You're supposed to knock first!!!" Isn't this MY room, MY TV? Aren't you supposed to be doing your chore? Isn't the TV supposed to be OFF? NO. I am supposed to KNOCK FIRST before entering my room. Huhhhhh. My mistake!

My Little Wild Animal

When Julia was born we lived in a tiny two-bedroom apartment that she quickly outgrew. She was exhausting! She never read any of the parenting books from "experts" who claimed that children needed to sleep. Julia hardly ever slept. I think that she slept maybe once a week for about an hour that first year of her life. Well, that's what it seemed like anyway. I'm estimating that I slept a grand total of 40 - 42 hours that first year.
When Julia was two years old, it was virtually impossible to stay home. I needed to find places to take her where I could just “let her run loose.” She was kind of similar to wild animals who need their space to run free. Yes, that’s what I said, she was a wild animal. So I took my little animal to Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood at the Monroeville Mall very frequently.
Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood has a great place where children and little wild animals can climb, run, jump and slide to their heart's content and exhausted moms like me can sit on their butts.
Often times I stuffed a book I was reading in her diaper bag. (What am I talking about? I hardly had time to read books, except for oral reading -Winnie the Pooh, Mickey Mouse, Bambi and others) But I tried to read at the Mr. Rogers' place. I packed my book, some sippy cups, bottles, diapers and wipes and headed to the Mr. Rogers’ place where she could play and I could read. Many times we stayed over two hours because
Julia was just this non-stop fireball of energy and she needed to wear herself out so she could take a nap.
That was the theory anyway. I would converse with other kinda tired parents. Polite people who saw Julia in action would look at me sympathetically and say the only thing that popped into their minds. “She sure has a lot of energy!”, which, of course, translates to, “She is a wild animal!”
The truth was, her energy level, while extremely challenging for some adults to deal with, sent a signal to me that she might be a natural-born-gymnast sort of like I was, only much more advanced. She constantly climbed on the top of the couch and jumped off of it or used my bed as a trampoline to do flips. Other parents might have tried to forbid such things, which started at a VERY early age, but I'm not sure she could have been stopped. It would be like trying to stop an extremely strong-willed train with your bare hands.

God gave Julia to me, I am convinced, because if he gave her to other parents, they would have killed her by the time she turned two. God knows what He's doing!

I saw her craziness as a gift and opportunity. She was very strong and coordinated and her flips showed great gymnastics potential and a lot of energy to match. Just like parents of redheads got endless comments about their child’s beautiful flaming hair, I got countless comments about Julia’s abundant energy. I figured I had four options at that point. One, I could put her up for adoption and hope she’d find some young marathon-running mother looking for a child who could keep up with her. Two, I could medicate her with heavily sedating drugs . Three, I could medicate myself. Four, I could enroll her in gymnastics.
Well, after much careful consideration, I chose option number four. Today Julia is a nine-year-old competitive gymnast who mostly uses gymnastics equipment to climb on rather than furniture. Oh sure, occasionally I'll catch her upside down in a handstand with her body in a backbend bouncing off the couch with her feet. It's a huge temptation, so much fun. Today Julia practices at Trinity Gymnastics in Gibsonia, PA three hours at a time, three days a week and she doesn’t really understand the definition of the word “tired”. She's taken gymnastics since before she turned three years old and this is her third year competing.
Did I make the right decision? I’m still not really sure. There are times I sure could use some serious drugs! (My mother, the pronunciation and grammatical QUEEN, corrected me. It's supposed to be "There are times I surely can use some drugs.") But I do know that Julia loves everything about gymnastics and I wouldn't trade her for anyone else in the world!!! She's my special wild animal gymnast!
Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood was a wonderful place for Julia to go, honing those beginning, basic gymnastics skills. Julia sure (correction- surely) enjoyed the playtime that Mr. Rogers said is vital for children’s development.

The Nuthouse

Hello subscribers to The Nuthouse News. I appreciate that you're reading this! For 16 years, I have published The Kriss News every year at Christmas time. Well, now I am going to try to keep readers up-to-date throughout the year. I am hoping this turns into a writing job! So, everyone except Lisa and Eric Black, PLEASE ADD YOUR COMMENTS AT THE END OF THIS.(Lisa and Eric, kindly write your comments on some paper and toss them in the nearest trash receptacle.) Don't know Lisa and Eric? Just be glad you never met them!
This blog features delightful nuts such as Grandma Abbie (my mom), Amy (That's me.), Kerry and Julia (my daughters who are 23 and 9), Uncle Bob (my brother), and his daughter Danielle (almost 14). We all live together in a cozy nuthouse in Monroeville, PA, along with our ridiculous and lazy dog, Peaches, and a decrepit 17-year-old calico cat named Wolfie. (Abbie's baby.)
Peaches is a vicious, killer watchdog, protecting us from all the scum and vermin of the neighborhood. (That spunky peek-a-poo up the street is nothing but trouble, to say nothing of that shady grandmother who walks her little chihuahua. Peaches is our life saver, warning us whenever something or somebody moves on HER street.)
Kerry is currently at a nursing home working on her externship. No one really knows what an externship is. We all know what interns do, like at the White House and all, but what do externs do? It's all a big mystery.
How about those STEELERS??!!!! Pittsburgh people are very proud of our football team and I am a Pittsburgh people. My mother, Kerry, Julia and I went to Liam's house in Cranberry to watch "the boys." (My mother likes to call groups of males "the boys.") The next morning many of the local schools had a two-hour Super Bowl delay. Our children have had many snow days and snow delays, but this was a brand new one. A late football game delay. Apparently, someone in charge of decisions for Julia's school district, Gateway, didn't believe in the delay. He or she must have been a sad and sorry Cardinals' fan. Too bad. hee hee hee
So here's a start to my new blog. Let us all bow our heads and pray that I can figure this out.

The Beast

Killer Canine

Here's "Killer," aka Peaches. If you were a mailhuman (mailman or mailwoman), wouldn't you be terrified? Killer is our keen watchcanine who protects all of the nuts here at the Nuthouse. She takes her job very seriously.
Don't Mess With The Dog!!!